so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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