I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
