Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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