And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
