I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
