Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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