I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
