shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
