i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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