Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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