You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
