just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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