I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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