omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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