last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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