whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
