Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
