Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
