Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize