Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
