The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Are my feet made of real feet?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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