did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
