I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize