you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
