barbara walters just said penis...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
