Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
