dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
