Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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