Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
