Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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