they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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