i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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