I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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