Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
