half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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