Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize