I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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