Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
