I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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