i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
