How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
