He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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