just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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