We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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