I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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