wanna go halves on a baby?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You've changed since you got that strap on
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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