look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
