PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
