You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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