She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
