Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
