be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
