First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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