i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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