We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
