Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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