i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
