Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
