Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You did what with his pubic hair?
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