Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
