Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
