Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
