I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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