im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize