i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
