You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
