you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
