marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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