It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Sorry about my life...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
