when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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