Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize