I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
