Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
