? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
