Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Randomize
