I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
