My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize