new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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