butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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